Struggling isn't quite the right descriptor. More like mired, becalmed, stuck in the sargasso sea of existence. When one recognizes the flavors of life as either bland or bitter, well it's time to take notice. I wrote a 'life update' to a very old friend last week which I ended with this line: "I am much less depressed and annoyed than I sound." Lately I am beginning to wonder. Perhaps 'tis time to turn the psychological lens inward for a clarifying reevaluation.
As chance would have it my current non-writing project is coming to a close and my friends up in northern california are preparing for another long road trip. Their house needs a cat-sitter and I need a change of scenery, so I am off next week for parts north. What better location to stir the psychic pot and dance with the nagas.
This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel ?