Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A Long and Winding Road

With apologies to my several New Mexico, desert and Los Angeles friends, I got road weary and certain pressing personal items beckoned to me for an early return to Berkeley. I'm back in the Bay Area. Holiday order placed with Whole Foods. Friends here to be visited and many, many, so many words to write.

Many thanks to those who put me up in places all over the Midwest, South and Southwest. Purrs and pets to all the felines who welcomed me, official pictorial recognition is coming.

Again, apologies to my missed friends, hope to see you all soon.

Total trip Sept. 8 to Dec. 15th - 6700 miles

photo credit: National Geographic

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Spreadsheet Sex

While I'm tempted to say -- "Now I've seen it all." I know better, we ain't seen nothin' yet. But this is one hell of a giant leap into the strange and prurient arena.

The Spreadsheet App measures several aspects of sexual performance. You load the app to your smart phone and then toss it on the bed next to where you plan to do the dirty deed.

The app measures duration of event, total number of thrusts and decibel peak. Screamer, you know you are a screamer. For any ladies in my immediate future -- no, I do not have the app. For everyone else out there in the wide world of sexual experience. Be very careful when your lover tosses his or her phone on the pillow, your performance might well be posted on the internet.

I mean we all have off nights . . .

But what if you're sleeping alone you ask. Well, there's an app for that too! I mean doesn't everyone need their personal sleep score . . .

Addendum: are there even stranger sex apps out there? You bet, take a look, if you dare.