Friday, November 18, 2016

Brand Spanking New Day

Post-election, post-apocalypse limited edition dandelion patch offering from Bloom County Central.

artwork by the esteemed Berkeley Breathe.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Another First World Problem?

Amazon has created a new line of products called: the Amazon Dash Button. Well not exactly a product, more a meta-product, a product you use to order other products. The Buttons sell for $4.99, however, you receive a 100% credit for the entire purchase price the first time you use the button.

  • "Amazon Dash Button is a Wi-Fi connected device that reorders your favorite product with the press of a button. Each Dash Button is paired with a product of your choice, which is selected through the Amazon App on your Android or iOS smartphone during the set-up process."

Yes, I did wonder just how often one needs to order mass quantities of cat litter, bathroom tissue or Goldfish. Isn't this really what Costco is for?

How often does your family need to order a gross of pop-tarts?

And unless your fostering 101 Dalmatians, I mean they're not sending you a 12 oz box of Milk-Bones. But if you need 50 or 100 pounds of doggy treats, really, really fast; then you will surely need this next product.

Yes folks, a button that will automatically order you Poop-Bags. Did you know they have nine varieties? Wondering about what could possibly differentiate Poop-Bags? Well, there are earth-friendly varieties, some come with dispensers and leases with dispensers. But who can forget the Rainbow Dog Waste Pick-Up bags, I mean who doesn't want to be fashionable when bending over to scoop up . . . Anyway, you can get 900 bags for under $15, imagine ordering nine hundred doggy poop bags.

Unless they have super-fast delivery service, I don't think the Trojans are going to get there in time for you to safely finish what you started. Plan Ahead! and Wrap dat Wrascal.

Just how often does a family run low on Play-Doh? Oh wait, I see, you can order the 10-pak, 24-pak, 36-pak or the Fun Tub. Well that explains it. Why does Play-Doh always remind me of Solent Green?

Look, I like corporate giant Amazon, I really do, despite all the negatives of worker maltreatment and putting all those local bookstores out of business. I like their innovation, but really a new tech device to order --- well you name it they have nearly a hundred Dash Buttons already. They even have one to sell you SmartWater, which has just got to be an oxymoron, if you need a special button to order it.