Friday, September 16, 2016

It's Just Wrong



I've let this simmer for over two months now. I tried to let it go, I really did.

Back in July, The Secret Life of Pets was released. There was a two week blitz of commercials prior to the release date, gotta hype up those Ritalin kids. You might have missed this animated blockbuster. I mean the story was compelling.

Max is a spoiled terrier who enjoys a comfortable life in a New York building until his owner adopts Duke, a giant and unruly canine. During their walk outside, they encounter a group of serious alley cats and wind up in a truck that's bound for the pound. Luckily, a rebellious rabbit named Snowball swoops in to save the doggy duo from its captors. In exchange, Snowball demands that Max and Duke join his gang of abandoned pets on a mission against the human who've done them wrong.

I have nothing against "G" and "PG" movies, they have a viable audience, which I do not associate with ever. But to each munchkin, their parents, grandparents and guardians; I hope the experience was epic.

Here is my issue. One of the aforementioned commercials was of "Max" strutting his stuff to the Rolling Stones song: Sympathy for the Devil.

Where do I begin.

The Stones??? They really needed more royalties???

The Devil??? This is a animated film aimed at children???

Is nothing sacred? Is nothing holy?

Think I'm kidding, read the lyrics.

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long years
Stole many a man's soul and faith

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made

I shouted out,
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste, um yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, um yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, um mean it, get down

Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!

Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame

1 comment:

dsimon3387 said...

Hey big guy hope you are well! Regarding your rant, in a word...Agreed!