Patience is a Virtue?

[Content Disclosure: Life 64%, Patience 83%, Poker 2%]

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. -Tolstoy

The aptly named Poker Grump wrote an intereting article disagreeing with my distaste for Poker = Life metaphors. I have been working on a "patience" section for a new book but today I am pondering patience not poker. I have noticed that patience tends to come with the ease of age. At least is how it seems to me these days. Yet I find others younger and older to have more patience in areas than I might. It appears we selectively decide that some areas are out of bounds for restraint, something about not abiding idiots or tolerating fools.

I guess I don't want to trounce any intolerance today, but I do notice that life in general is requiring a goodly dose of patience these days.

I have several writing gigs in the "hold" position. Actually one has come through and others linger. Patience, my boy, patience.

One of my good friends is under consideration for a position that would be great for her and just an excellent decision for the company involved, but nothing yet.

On the lighter side, I was at dinner the other evening with my brother and one of my recently retired poker buddies. When I asked them what the plans were for the weekend, they gave me an eloquent and mirthful dissertation on why making plans too far in advance is unwise when you are in full retirement mode. It seems you don't want to add stress or structure to a life of leisure. Wise and deservingly slothful men these are.

What comes next for me? Now there is a question, a whole galaxy of questions that are requiring a lot of patience these days. Patience and just existing at the edge of the void. Really an interesting if not completely comfortable place to pitch one's tent.

Female & Male Endings

[Content Disclosure: Gender, Understanding, Passion, Reminiscing and no poker]

“Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.” --William Blake

Well that certainly is one side of the equation Mr. Blake but a side I am familiar with. Not because I am what anyone would describe as a overtly emotional person. Just the opposite, but I have traveled with many manic, creative, socially high energy friends and lovers. I am not one to tolerate inane or insane behavior for its own sake, I generally just absent myself from such goings on. However, the wild creative energy that so often infuses artistic talent and emotional commitment does lend itself to over-percolation followed by incoherent eruptions. It is here where gender takes a role in my encounters with the varieties of the emotional precipice.

The few women with whom I have had messy, incomplete, unclosured endings; will invariably describe our final days as tinged with anger. My anger not theirs. I do not deny such characterizations. I object, of course, to the elevation of anger to a level commensurate with rape, murder and child abuse, but that is just a simplistic tactic of a gender unable to grasp the finer nuances of curling, the zone defense and beer pong.

Men on the other hand are completely different. I have male ex-friends, who would describe our defunct friendships in exactly the same way and anger would never be a factor. We were friends and then we were not. I have no idea if they have a "story" about how or why we became former acquaintances and I really don't care. Contrary to popular folklore men really don't "need" to be right in these situations. Two opinions, two positions, two points of view that irresolvable lead to an end. Done. Finished. No conversation required.

The other gender, from the land of hormones, wants completion, resolution and yes, closure; not to mention punishment. But, in my experience, these must happen without any bilateral process. They seek an ending that sheds a redeeming light on their unexamined behavior. (Play the "he was angry" card here.) How quiet they become when someone actually enters the conversation.

Desires come in all shapes, sizes and forms. Denying any of them is a sign of weakness. Controlling them is an indication of personal strength. Exploring them demonstrates courage. Being uncomfortable with your desires reveals your humanity and is never something to apologize for--ever.