Monday, November 25, 2019

Grey Angel - First Paragraph

Paragraph icon from Free Icon Library

The water was searing cold. At 5 a.m. no one had drunk from the silver metal fountain for hours, the water had taken on a throat-numbing chill. David felt the frigid outline of his esophagus as he swallowed, he could sense the upper reaches of his stomach as the cold rush swept the oxycodone tablet down. The clock was running, in less than fifteen minutes the first warm wave of the opioid would wash over him.

Coming soon, the entire first page and that's all you get of Grey Angel. Want more? You'll just have to wait for a publisher, just like I wait and wait and wait.



Of course, I didn't mean you, you can have more.

Friday, November 22, 2019

Grey Angel - First Sentence

The first sentence. An author's first and perhaps only chance to hook a reader. There are readers who stand in bookstore aisles and read only the first page, the first paragraph, the very first sentence before deciding whether or not to read on and perhaps purchase.

Here is the first line of my novel - Grey Angel.

The water was searing cold.

What is your initial reaction?

Yes, I have had feedback from several beta readers. And yes, some of them have asked if 'searing' doesn't imply hot not cold. Searing is defined as extremely hot or intense. I have considered using a less forceful word. But I am resisting the change because the juxtaposition does get nearly every reader thinking - just how cold is searing cold? So cold that it burns?

I won't make you wait for the whole first paragraph, here is the next line.


The water was searing cold. 
At 5 a.m. no one had drunk from the silver metal fountain for hours, 
the water had taken on a throat-numbing chill.