Happy Easter

Really?

Editing

Man Oh Man do I love to write. I enjoy it so much. When I was younger I didn't, not at all. But somewhere in the late 90's and early 00's I found my voice. Writing the Matusow book with Amy Calistri confirmed it, at least to me.

There are certain words I don't throw around very easily, love is one; home is another. I love to write. I am, however, not fond of editing. In fact, one of those others word I don't utter often is hate. I don't hate editing, I would prefer someone else do it and hopefully somewhere in the future there is an editor out there who will be taking a blue pencil to my words. But that will be after many months of editing done by yours truly just to get my current work into the condition that deserves a good editor.

It's a drag, it sucks; it's a dangerous job but somebody's got to do it. Expect periodic murmurings from this blog about this task as it shall be around for the near future. And let me just add grumble, snarl, hiss.

A Grey Smoothie

I like to start my day with a smoothie. Actually like to start my day with a slice of chocolate cake but I no longer give in to that particular addiction. About six months ago I decided to once again try the smoothie for breakfast health thing. I had run across an interesting concoction on the net and gave it a try one morning, it didn't sit well with my delicate constitution - too much citrus. I tried a variation a few days later, same result. I pondered for a few days and then came up with the brilliant notion of only putting in the blender things I liked to eat unpulverized. I had a basic banana and strawberry smoothie. Liked it but well not quite, it just wasn't quite there.

Shortly thereafter I was surfing late night television and saw an infomercial for a single serving blender that basically would crush rocks. Off I went the next day for my first visit to the mall in nearly a decade. Even the stores that were advertised as having the super little blade crushing device did not. So I wandered into the Macy's seeking a kitchen department. Now you must understand me in a mall is like a cat in a swimming pool. However, the gods of consumerism were kind this day, a very understanding and knowledgeable lady pounced on helped me, she even got some points when the secret store detective swooped in and asked me a couple of questions about her helpfulness. When did retail get secret police? But I digress.

What she told me was I could buy their version of the one serving super blender with the equivalent of a ferrari engine or I could spend a bit more and get a full size blender with six blades the engine of a Boeing 767 and two single serving attachments. My mind was at this point numb from the permutations of simply buying a blender but I got the message and came home with the big one.

The next morning I had a marvelous smoothie with nary a stray strawberry seed. This contraption did indeed pulverize anything I put in it. Later that day I shopped for all natural juices, fresh berries, bananas and to my enlightenment a host of frozen fruits. Experimentation over the last four or five months has discovered several palate preferences. First a small braeburn apple is an excellent base for any morning drink. Frozen berries come in a mix pack at a very reasonable price. Frozen peaches are divine.

So what's with the 'grey smoothie'?

Well one morning I was deep in thought over a particular chapter I was working on and not paying attention as I threw together my morning drink. In retrospect I tossed in a banana, a handful of blueberries and some frozen blackberries. Back at the keyboard  I tipped up the single serving vessel/tumbler and noted the grey nature of my creation. Would this have been Jamba Juice or Smoothie King I might have sent it back but being that I am the proprietor of this establishment I drank what was, of course, a delightful and refreshing medley of nature's bounty.

Which led me to the next step and the very next day, I added . . . kale to a lunch beverage, one serving of vegetable hidden behind a wall of peaches and pears. Since then I have discovered that my little blender could disguise nearly all leafy greens as well as broccoli and flaxseed. You just gotta get by the color sometimes.

"God made a big deal about the underwear . . ."

These words from an old friend I have not seen in nearly fifty years. Via Facebook we have in some small cyber way reconnected.

"God made a big deal about the underwear of the Old Testament priesthood. There were literally pounds and pounds of embroidery and precious materials...hats and ephods and robes and belts. But under all that decoration and symbolism was a pair of linen boxer shorts. And God said..."Make sure you wear those linen breeches...or else." We like the idea of being "God's man". Preachers like to stand up front and tell the folks what's what. But behind all that loud talking and finger pointing there are supposed to be some private and sacred responsibilities. While you're drawing lines for other people to toe don't forget to toe the line for yourself. Those "boxer shorts" in Exodus 28 have to do with that private and absolutely critical personal heart preparation. I've let that slip before. I've been up there with guilty conscience or an empty heart. I don't think anybody noticed...except me...and of course God."

Old Friends - Simon & Garfunkel

Rethinking Vietnam

History tells us that in 1972 the Nixon Whitehouse was so paranoid about the challenge of George McGovern, the Democratic party and the anti-war movement that they sent paid operatives into the Watergate to steal files from the National Democratic Committee offices. But what if the election was not the reason for the break-in that eventually cost Nixon the presidency.

What if in the 1968 campaign, Nixon and his notorious henchmen went to the government of South Vietnam and got them to boycott the peace talks underway in Paris. What if peace could have been obtained in 1968 and saved seven years of war and tens of thousands of lives. What if Nixon undermined the peace talks to win the 1968 election.

What if there was a file proving all of this and what if that was what the Watergate burglars were after that fateful June night in 1972. Alternet has an article saying exactly this with the documents (the file) giving exact evidence.

Too young to remember Watergate, Nixon and Vietnam. How about Reagan, Oliver North and Iran-Contra. The Alternet article goes on to demonstrate the same massive cover-up of that scandal and of Reagan's contact with Iran to keep the American hostages captive until after the was in office.

But don't worry only republicans would do something like this, you can trust Obama won't drop a drone on your ass.

Rock Orchestrations

I was just playing around one lazy afternoon and stumbled on an orchestration of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. Like any other internet rabbit hole when I came out several hours later I had several selections to recommend to you. Most are by the London Symphony Orchestra and most reflect my well worn prejudice to classic rock.

Bohemian Rhapsody arranged for a symphony orchestra. You'll want to give this one more than 2 1/2 minutes.

Beatles's Penny Lane. Found this favorite more than a few times but this one is by a small string orchestra.

Led Zeppelin. All of My Love. Might even be better than the original.

Eric Clapton's Layla. This one has also been done a lot but most are soft orchestrations that stick to the original Clapton tracks; LSO really takes the theme and runs with it here. 

A Whiter Shade Of Pale, Procol Harum LSO. One of my favorite songs.

Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven. London Philharmonic Orchestra. The best of several tracks I found.

The Rolling Stones - Ruby Tuesday re-mixed & re-orchestrated by LSO.

The Beatles - Here Comes The Sun by The Wedding Players

Viagra

Think about the images in the last Viagra ad you saw.

No, the one with the two bathtubs is Cialis. How about the rugged 50+ guy whose car overheats or the one where his truck gets stuck so he gets the two horses out of the back. All very one step removed from the whole ED issue.

Psychology Today picked up on two prints ads for Viagra, one from China the other from Finland. Interesting to see how other cultures approach the lack of tumidity. The ad from Finland maybe the subtlest humor I have seen in a long time.

Did You Know by the Numbers?

9 Interesting Things About the Clitoris
"The clitoris is the only part of the body designed solely for pleasure."

10 Cool Facts About Tarantulas
"A female tarantula in the wild can live for thirty years."

7 Amazing Facts About your Eyes
"If you have blue eyes you share a common ancestor with every other blue-eyed person in the world."

8 Strange Place Names in Canada
"Head-Smashed-in-Buffalo Jump in Alberta is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The very weird name makes perfect sense if you know the history of the area."*

*Please note I did not go pandering here by mentioning Dildo, Newfoundland.

6 Weird Credit Score Strategies
"Pay your bills more than once a month."

12 Rude Revelations About Sex
"What unfolds between a couple in the bedroom is an act of mutual reconciliation between two secret sexual selves emerging at last from sinful solitude." 

5 Most Overlooked Tax Deductions

"Breast Implants." I'm kidding, though often deductible, they are seldom overlooked.